


Redemption: Oneshots

by eurusholmmes



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:42:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26924557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eurusholmmes/pseuds/eurusholmmes
Summary: "How to kill someone: Fill them with love, and then leave." | This is the recounted story of Opal and Obi-Wan Kenobi (accompanied by Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker, and Padmé Amidala) and the clones they fought beside in the Clone Wars.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Original Character(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. I'll Be Right There By Your Side

Obi-Wan is not a lucky boy. He is scared, and shameful, and wants nothing more then to be the Jedi he is destined to be. He has never known love or a home or family until he is inducted into The Jedi Order where he believes he will live out the rest of his life in peace. 

They don't tell you that Jedi are soldiers bred for war. He doesn't learn that until much, much later. 

At his young age he thinks he's destined to be abandoned by everyone he loves. It happens when he stands alone in the middle of a room, desperate to be picked and trained by _any_ of The Jedi Masters who stand before him. Obi-Wan Kenobi can see Opal Stone through The Force, lingering outside the doorway to the High Council Chambers in eager anticipation of who he'd be training under. 

He was 12, and they'd only just met a few months beforehand. The dreams of being a Jedi Knight seem to have long passed him by, for many of the Padawans had already been chosen by their new Masters to be trained as Apprentices.

No one wanted him. No one would _ever_ want a failed Jedi.

When Opal watches him fight Bruck to vie for the attention of her uncle, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, he gives his all in hopes that he'll be picked. Yoda watches him intently. So does Opal. He can almost _feel_ her pride echoing in The Force, meant to be a way to keep him going. Apparently that pride is his downfall: Qui-Gon remarks that his attitude was too rough for his liking and abandons him. That was the same day The Jedi Order abandoned him too. 

When his regret and his failure to impress the people around him overwhelmed him, Opal Stone was always there to pick him back up off his knees. Wounds are mended with quiet affirmation through the bond they'd accidentally create with their growing relationship, and she sends him back off again: Obi-Wan Kenobi versus the world. 

It seems the world continues to win. 

She sees him off when the AgriCorp recruits him, a failed Jedi, and he disappears with the transport and no intention to ever see the doe-eyed female Jedi he calls his best friend ever again. 

She's there and crying _-_ Force, why is she _crying?_ \- when he's brought back from Bandomeer with Qui-Gon, who was also sent on a mission to the same planet where the AgriCorp was stationed. He thought it strange that they ended up in the same place, but Qui-Gon saw his potential and sought him out to be his Apprentice. He thanks The Maker for days after that. Maybe it was the will of The Force. 

Being the padawan to a man who had no desire to teach him was difficult enough, but when he emerges from his quarters every single morning and is greeted with that same breathless smile of the doe-eyed female Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi finds a reason to keep waking and to not succumb to his shame and his failures that plague him constantly. 

She's always there with those open arms and her equally open heart, her tenacity and endless compassion, ready to be his Atlas: To lift the weight of the world off of his shoulders and carry it on her own so he would be relieved of his burdens. 

He thinks that being a Jedi will be worth it if it means she'll be there with him. Master Qui-Gon tells him to forego attachments. Jedi are not supposed to love. 

But how can he not love that which first loved him? 

/////

_"Tell me, Atlas. What is heavier?_

_The world or the hearts of its people?"_

_////_


	2. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they train together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these are set at different intervals throughout the prequels + tcw and eventually rebels, but i wanted to hit more on my favorite relationship i've ever written for star wars :D

She finds out early on that Obi-Wan favors training with her instead of Qui-Gon. He's very good at keeping _things_ to himself despite the fact they trust each other almost unconditionally, but she doesn't pry and he doesn't tell. Given that their Masters are good friends, they don't complain when their Padawans practice sparring together. They perfect their chosen Saber combat forms apart, but when they come together, the sight is _astonishing._

"Ataru is very becoming of you, Obi-Wan!" Opal called out as he vaulted himself over her head and they continued pacing the length of the room with their training sabers. His eyes never stray away from her. The realization that he is _always_ watching her sends shivers down her spine, but it doesn't make her uncomfortable. It makes her feel magnificent. 

"I cannot say I am surprised that you chose Makashi." Obi-Wan grunted between attacks. She's more keen on taking the offensive and using careful and controlled strikes instead of relying on strength. "Very efficient and effective, as are you." 

Obi-Wan Kenobi was taught to release all his feelings into The Force from his earliest ages as an initiate. He'd had difficulty learning to let go since he was a child. As he'd grown, Obi-Wan had fought hellishly to reign in his anger and his passion as those were attributes of The Dark and that was not something he'd succumb to, no matter how much his heart told him otherwise.

The older he is, the more difficult it becomes as his relationship with Opal Stone grows. It's friendship as he has with Bant and Reeft and his other age mates, but Obi-Wan finds that he wants _more._ He wants to know her fear, her passion and her dreams. He wants to know _her_ more then anyone else he associates with in The Jedi Order. More then his own Master. 

And that alone is dangerous.

"You, my friend, are distracted-" He gasps as she backs him into the wall, onyx eyes shining as she used The Force to throw his training saber across the room and pin her own against his windpipe. Opal pauses as she felels his reluctance and his fear edge into their Force Bond. "Obi-Wan?" 

He's too far away, too distant. She can barely see signs of life in his gaze. 

Opal peers around the room to ensure they're alone before dropping her training saber in place of her hands against his face. He's brought back to reality by such a simple yet gentle touch because compassion and gentle nature is not something he's accustomed to, he's not used to being accepted so openly and the sight of Opal Stone standing in front of him with her hands on his face and concern evident in her gaze is nearly enough to make him crumble. 

He doesn't. 

"Hey." He's drawn to her as she taps his nose with the end of her finger. "Where'd you go?" 

Obi-Wan doesn't want to burden her with the disorder of his mind, and so he feigns that warm smile that reassures her that he's okay. She's going to eventually figure out that he is, in fact, far from it. "I'm right here." He mused. "Shall we?" 

When Qui-Gon Jinn and Mace Windu join their Padawans later that afternoon before parting for their quarters for the night, they remain blissfully oblivious to the blooming relationship between an abandoned boy and an orphan girl with a heart big enough for him to fit into it. 


	3. And That Will Be Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one after Melida/Daan.

Qui-Gon Jinn notices the minute he returns from Melida/Daan that his niece has taken after his brother in how she conveys her anger. Many of his fellow Jedi are taught to release their anger into The Force upon training as younglings, but it seems that technique is something that Opal never really applied. 

She's _seething_ when he steps off the transport without Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon is not stupid, he knows the relationship she has with his Padawan, but he certainly wasn't expecting _this._

"Obi-Wan fought to be with you, he fought for you to train him because no one else wanted him-" Qui Gon hears the break in her voice and sees the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She's passionate and reckless and _stubborn_ but with a heart big enough to totally envelop Obi-Wan Kenobi within it, to love him in a way he's never been shown. "And you just.. left him there?" 

She doesn't intend for him to hear the break in her voice, but he does. 

"Your anger rules you, niece." Qui-Gon replies cooly. Opal is baffled at how _cold_ and _callous_ he is when it comes to the wellbeing of his padawan. "You cannot allow yourself to fall victim to it. Release your feelings into The Force." 

He can _feel_ her anger, her grief and her fear radiating from her Force Signature, and Qui-Gon sends waves of comfort and assurance across the bond formed by blood. They're family. She knows he cares about her, but Opal is far more concerned about Obi-Wan as _no one_ has ever cared for him the way people care for her. 

Opal stands tall, squares her jaw, and the Padawan saddles right up to the Jedi Master. There's not a hint of anything in that veiled expression of hers. "If he dies," She snaps, brown eyes darkened and ominous. "It's on you." 

She leaves him alone with his thoughts and his guilt. 

***

Six days passes. Then a week, then a month, and then a year. Opal is taller then she was when Obi-Wan left The Jedi Temple to fight the war on Melida/Daan. Her hair is longer and her gaze is more fierce, but the way she looks at him is so distinctly _her_ that it makes his grin widen when he sees her lingering on the landing platform. 

Jedi aren't meant to be soldiers. They're keepers of the peace, but Obi-Wan Kenobi has been fighting someone elses war for a year and he is so _tired._ He's tired of arguing, of making battle strategies and being witness to so much senseless death. He would be haunted by Cerasi's death for the rest of his life. Haunted by his paralyzing fear, haunted by the fact he hadn't done anything, _haunted haunted haunted._

He thinks about his defiance in the face of his Master's orders. How he left The Order to stay behind with The Young, how Qui-Gon simply took Tahl and _left_ him there on Melida/Daan. 

Obi-Wan is angry, hurt, and fearful of The Council's reactions.

That all dissipates when he locks eyes with Opal Stone for the first time in over a year. He can feel her joy and her relief thrumming across their bond. At least someone is happy to see him alive. 

Qui-Gon seems to know how Opal's presence brightens Obi-Wan's Force Signature, so he leaves the two of them alone on the landing pad and urges him to return to the High Council Chambers as soon as they're done. 

The moment they are alone, Opal runs forward and throws herself _right_ into his arms. They instinctively wrap around her and pull her flush against him, his face hiding in the fabric of robes that are a size too big as she holds him. It's so rare to be held so _gently._

"Maker, Obi-Wan," She whispers in his ear like his name is the most cherished thing she's ever said. "I was so _angry_ when you didn't come back from Melida/Daan and then to find out Qui-Gon just.. left you there." Her voice falls like she's remembering something she doesn't want to, and her eyes shift back up to meet his. "Master Windu made me attend mandatory sessions with the mind-healers for _weeks_ after he came back. I don't think I've ever done so much meditation in my life." 

The question comes before he can stop it, "Did you mourn me, Opal Stone?" 

She seems offended. "Why would I _not_ mourn you? You're the first person I befriended when we were brought on as initiates, we helped each other find our Kyber crystals, we have been through too much together for me to not care about you, Obi-Wan." Opal replies. "Of _course_ I mourned you. You're.."

_My best friend. My sparring partner. My mess hall mate. You're my confidant.._

_You're my safe place._

"I thought Jedi were not supposed to have attachments?" 

Opal shakes her head furiously. "I don't agree with that part of the Jedi Code." She whispers. "Attachment might be forbidden, as is possession. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So I'd say we are _encouraged_ to love." His head spins when she kisses his cheek. "So yes, I did mourn you. There's no mourning now. You're _here."_

He is here. He's not holding Cerasi's body on Melida/Daan, he's not _The Negotiator,_ here he is Obi-Wan Kenobi and he is in mourning. He wants to know there's someone out there who cares about him - his failures and his victories and his heartbreak and his desperate need for love - and Obi-Wan gets it _all_ in his relationship with Opal Stone. It's more then enough. It'll always be enough. 

"If I keep you any longer, Master Windu will never let me hear the end of it." Obi-Wan thinks she can feel his confusion and his heartache through their Bond, but if she does, she doesn't say anything about it. He's grateful for it. "Will you join me tonight?" 

"For what?" 

She winks at him, hands buried in her robes and hair messily pulled up with just enough falling to frame her eyes that _gleam_ the longer she looks at him.

"You'll find out when you get there." Opal replies. "Now go beg forgiveness to the higher-ups." 

After Obi-Wan pleads with The Council to allow him back into the Jedi Order, he wearily treks to his quarters and shuts the door behind him before Qui-Gon can follow him inside. 

When he reaches the bed, he cries. Whether it's tears of relief or tears of grief, he doesn't know, but Obi-Wan Kenobi cries. 

And in the middle of a deep sleep, Opal Stone hears him.

She cries too. 

<><><><>

_"_ _Grief knits two hearts together in closer bonds then happiness ever can._

_and common sufferings are far stronger links_

_then common joys.''_

<><><><>


	4. Jealousy Is Unbecoming Of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the other girl.

Opal is at the tender age between fifteen and sixteen when she learns about jealousy. She'd never really considered her strong feelings for Obi-Wan to be _attraction,_ let alone _desire_ , but based off of the growing negativity and the knotting of her stomach, that's exactly what it is. 

She learns she doesn't want anyone to know Obi-Wan in that way except _her._

Siri Tachi is a good Jedi, probably better then she can ever hope to be. She's headstrong and patient and compassionate and kind, not to mention a formidable opponent against Obi-Wan and his near flawless skills with The Force and a saber. She would be such a good match for him. _She_ is his perfect component, the missing piece of himself. She is the other half of him. 

So why does it feel so _wrong_ to watch them together? 

Obi-Wan came to her in secret to tell her about his feelings for Siri. She of course feigned her thrill for him because he'd been through far too much suffering for her to be the cause of any more of it. 

He smiles more. Laughs too. Opal watches from a distance as Obi-Wan Kenobi falls in love with Siri Tachi, and she closes herself off to him when he leaves for Cirrus to save Talesan Fry. Obi-Wan notices too, because Siri sees his discomfort and his confusion when they fled for the ship and faced potential death. He's struggling with something. 

Obi-Wan realizes he can't feel Opal. She's _there_ but she won't let him in and the thought of her closing off their end of the bond breaks his heart. 

But it breaks hers more. 

_"Padawan, it seems I've lost your concentration."_

_"Sorry, Master. I am distracted today. May I depart to meditate?"_ She's dripping in sweat and fuming because her anger and resentment just won't go _away,_ and Mace sees the conflict in her and allows Opal to leave him for her quarters. She's always been diligent in meditation since being taken on by Master Windu. 

When she sits down to herself in her quarters, her mind clears. She's one with The Force, and The Force is with her, and she's- 

No. 

What's _that?_

An older man with strawberry blonde hair that curls over his ears is standing in front of her. Going by the colors of his robes he's most definitely a Jedi Master, but he's wearing a saber with the same hilt as Obi's.. and his _eyes-_

Opal reaches out to touch him, to see if he's real. When he turns around and looks right through her at whoever is standing behind her, his smile widens in that way that makes her heart ache because it's just so beautiful and so _rare_ and so _free._

And then she turns around. 

He's looking at Siri. He's looking at Siri the way she wants him to look at _her._

Opal jostles herself out of meditation to the sound of angry knocking on her door. "Oh, _Kriff-_ " She hastily makes her way across the room believing it to be Mace as he does come on occasion (he moved out to the Masters dormitories whenever she turned of age) but it's not Master Windu, it's _Obi._

And wow, he's angry. 

"Why did you do that?" 

"Do what?" 

He knows her so well, he knows when she's acting coy. "Oh, don't do that to me, Opal." He snapped. "When I went to Cirrus to save the boy, I.. I felt our bond _sway_ and _bend._ I looked to you to remember-" Obi-Wan swallows the bile, the rage and the confusion and the desperation in his voice and his eyes. She's never seen him angry. She's never seen him at his worst, and he intends to keep that locked away because she's too pure, too good. She's a Jedi. He's _not._ "To remember what I'm coming home to, and you closed yourself off! What I want to know is why!" 

_There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no emotion, there is peace._

She just wants to bury her affection for him. Bury her feelings deep down and never acknowledge them because there was no possible way he'd ever return her feelings. Obi-Wan was a devout follower of The Jedi Code. He'd die by it. 

"Jealous." 

He raises an eyebrow. _That_ was not something he was expecting. ''Pardon?" He asked. 

"I thought you had abandoned me." Her voice lowers to a whisper that he almost can't hear, and Obi-Wan frowns as he crosses the gap between them. She's wary, recoils at his presence and scrambles backwards. " _You_ stop practicing for our Trials with me, you stopped sparring with me, you stopped _caring_ about me whenever Siri came into your life! It was always _her!_ It was never me!" 

She doesn't realize she's yelling. 

"Siri and I abandoned what we felt for each other. Master Jinn and Master Yoda had a conversation with us about the consequences of it." He extends his arms and wiggles his fingers, coaxing her to fall into his embrace. "We vowed to never talk about it again." 

Opal runs to him because he's familiar, he's her best friend and he's everything she wants and can't have because of the _stupid_ Code. 

"I was jealous. I thought you-" 

"Jealousy is unbecoming of you, my dear." 

They're not supposed to be alone like this. They're not supposed to come to each other for comfort, they're not supposed to have such a strong bond in the Force, but they do and it's agonizing but it makes up for the rejection and the fear and the failure. It makes up for the love neither of them have known from their own parents. Taken at three years and never raised by them, and lost to a Lord of the Sith. 

Then she does something Obi-Wan doesn't anticipate. Before he can cross the room to the kitchen to make her favorite tea, Opal cups the back of his neck and stands on the tips of her toes to press the softest kiss against the corner of his mouth. 

"Don't leave me." It's not a demand, but a statement, something she needs him to know because life as a Jedi simply is not worth doing with him not being a part of it. "I need to know you're staying, that you won't leave me because so many people have left me already, and there's nothing for me out there-" 

He returns the kiss against her forehead, and her eyes flutter closed. 

Across their bond there is a whisper. _Stay._

It's a promise. She knows he means it. 

<><><><><><><>

" _The jealous are troublesome to others but a torment to themselves."_

_William Penn_

<><><><><><><><>


	5. Like A Flame That Flickered Out Too Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where she deals with grief.

_They're gone._

[Obi-Wan helps Opal to cope on the anniversary of her parents death] 

***

The High Council doesn't usually grant leave for students preparing for the Trials, but on this day they make an exception due to the influence of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. Master Windu had done everything in his power to comfort his Padawan during the anniversary, but he knew as well as Qui-Gon did that the only thing that would get her through it was Obi-Wan. 

He brewed two cups of tea and disappeared into the gardens in search of his best friend. She hadn't been in any of the training facilities or in her quarters, Master Windu had not seen her since early that morning, and no one else in the Temple seemed to know her whereabouts. 

But he did. 

Inside a carved hollow near a cluster of dogwood trees sits Opal Stone, legs tucked beneath her and hands poised against her knees as she sits in deep meditation. She's retreated here very well knowing that most of the Jedi who occupy the gardens will not retreat so deep into them, let alone find a spot that is barely big enough to fit them both. 

Obi-Wan smiles at the sight of something so _ordinary_ and sits across from her. 

He too retreats deep within despite the steaming cups of tea that sit between them, and he lightly probes at the bond as to not jolt her from deep Force meditation. 

_Opal. Come on out, hm? Come back to me._

Opal stirs at the action and slowly opens her eyes to meet the piercing blues across from her. "There he is." She muses. "How'd you find me, hm? Even the great Obi-Wan Kenobi doesn't know all my secrets." 

Unfortunately for her, Opal has never been too good at masking her emotions as Jedi are supposed to. The Force around her is darkened by her obvious sadness and guilt as it is this day that weighs heavier on her soul then the others, and he knows _why._

"Unfortunately for you, I do know _this_ secret." He presses. "I thought we were done hiding from each other. I'm your best friend, am I not?" 

_That's not what I want you to be._

Obi-Wan stares at her with those wide blue eyes that are practically inviting her to fall into them. Of all the people who know her in the Jedi Temple, he's the one who sought her out. He's the one who took time out of his own day chasing on the heels of her uncle to find her. 

Something inside her flickers. Despair and sadness bubble in her throat. 

He's waiting. He's waiting for her to break, careful not to press her too hard as this day is always the hardest of every year: It's the anniversary of her parents death. 

"Obi.." She wants him to hold her. She wants him to smother her in his embrace and protect her from the world outside of this garden. She wants, she wants, she _wants-_

"Opal." 

_and she can't have._

"My parents are _dead."_

Obi-Wan moves the two tea cups and scoots closer until their knees are touching. Once they are, he leans forward to take her hands into his own. Opal is surprised at just how calloused and worn they are for someone as young as he is. "Yes." He whispers. ''As are mine." 

Her lips quiver. He's so close now, close enough that she can smell the splash of the fragrance she'd gifted him in secret for his birthday. 

" _I'm alone."_

She's not alone, and she knows it, but Opal and fear of abandonment are close friends. None of her family were willing to take her in after they offered to let her leave The Jedi Order in the aftermath of her parents death. Mace Windu fought to keep her, Qui-Gon kept an eye on her, and the two Masters pushed her and Kenobi together knowing their pasts and their weaknesses. They complimented each other well and that was why they'd make each other better Jedi. 

"That's not true." Obi-Wan says. "You have Bant and Reeft and Master Windu and your uncle, Qui-Gon-" 

Opal snorts. "I'm obligation to two of those people. Bant and Reeft just happen to be my age mates." 

Warm fingers tilt her chin upward. 

"You forgot somebody." 

"Oh, did I?" 

"You forgot _me._ " 

The dam breaks then. The tears come hot and fast, blurring her sight of him and his heartbreak that's etched all over his face as Opal openly weeps in front of him. "You-" She stutters out between sharp intakes of breath and frantic grips of his robe. "When have-e I _ever_ had you?" 

She bends her head to rest it against his folded legs. His fingers rake through loose blonde hair, desperate to contain his own grief for _her_ loss. He had not even known Lorelei and Parker Stone, but he wished he had. They had to be gifted parents to have raised such a girl as the one who sat before him. 

"No matter what universe, what dimension, what galaxy or what _life_ -" Opal keeps her face buried in the warmth of his robes as the sobs slowly subside into silence. "There will never be a time where you do not have me, Opal Stone. You have me." 

It's a promise. One he hopes to keep. 

Opal lifts her head with a determined expression, and he's caught off guard by the way her fingers curl around his jaw. This day is supposed to be about her but Obi-Wan _always_ makes things about her and never himself and she wants to change that. 

She's about to make another promise. They have a tendency of doing this now. 

"No matter when heartbreak comes, when loss threatens you, when grief drowns you.." He takes in each word because he trusts her, she means what she says, she is _truth_ and _purity._ "I'll be there. I'm _here_ and you _have_ me." 

He does have her. He has her wound so tightly into the very fabric of his soul, his _heart_ , but he doesn't think of her that way. He doesn't harbor affection for her. She is everything he needs that Qui-Gon doesn't give him. 

Her head rests against his shoulder. Opal has moved into his lap now, fingers still clasped in his own, and there's not a sound except their breathing. The Force is calm now. Calm but sad, as it always is with Kenobi and Stone. 

Obi-Wan doesn't realize she's fallen asleep until the mug of tea is stone cold. 

" _You have me."_

That night, Opal doesn't dream of death. She dreams of life. Of him. Of all the things she can't have. 

Maybe she should've left The Order when she had the chance. Who knows.. maybe in another life, another world, another him.. Maybe he would've followed her if she asked. 

<><><><><><><><><>

_"There's too much risk in loving." The young boy said._

_"No," Said the old man. "There's too much risk in not."_

<><><><><><><><><><><>


	6. Don't Think I Don't See How She Falls For Your Charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the Duchess of Mandalore.

_I'm not naive, I have seen women around you_

_Don't think I don't see how she falls for your charms,_

_All your charms._

***

The dreaded words are back again, a taunting whisper in her ear. " _The Council is sending me on a mission with Master Qui-Gon."_ It's not the first time that Obi-Wan has left with her uncle for worlds unknown, and he's sat in her position multiple times before _but_ Master Plo often doesn't take off world missions unless he has to. Opal spends more time at the Temple and she _hates_ it. 

She's sending him away to protect a young Duchess on Mandalore, and he's going to fall in love with her because that's what Obi-Wan _does._ The poor, besotted fool fell in love with Siri after a year away from The Order and now he's gonna go off on his own and rescue a damsel in distress and despite his promise, he won't be _here_ and he won't be _hers._

Because he's never going to be hers. 

Opal watches on in silence as he departs for the landing pad. Frantic blue eyes are searching for her as he does before he leaves on every mission, but she doesn't want to be found. 

Her brain starts screaming when he sees her. She hides herself in the crowd of Padawans and Initiates and Masters that walk around her. The chatter is so loud that it manages to drown out her own thoughts, but she can feel Obi-Wan trying to get her attention through their Bond. 

Her heart wins over her head, and she opens her side of the bond to receive his confusion and his sadness as she hasn't come to see him off before he leaves. 

_Stay safe, Kenobi._ Opal pours reassurance and comfort into him, and she sees his tense body language soften as Obi-Wan receives it. _I'll be here when you get back._

And then she closes off the bond again before he says anything else, because Maker forbid that he senses the deeper feelings she hasn't let anyone know of: Her desperation, her heartache and her utter adoration for this torn boy who came to her with an aching heart that he needed a home for. 

As Obi-Wan Kenobi leaves Coruscant, Opal Stone cradles his heart in her hands. Strong hands that can wield her saber better then most of the other Padawans. Gentle hands that have mended wounds and tended to the younglings with the utmost care. 

His heart beats steady and true under her watchful eye. 

It will remain whole until he returns, and then she'll give it back to him. 

*** 

_I can't have you._

Bant is the first person to ever draw it from her. The Mon Kalamari is the closest friend she has outside of Obi-Wan and happens to be the only one skilled enough in saber combat to keep up with Opal, who grows more and more uneasy the longer Obi-Wan is away. 

It's pretty telling. 

"Stone! Mind telling me what has you so rattled?" Bant blocks every move with precise accuracy, eyes narrowing as they become more harsh and erratic. The way Opal is fighting is _sloppy_ and so unlike her that the sight of such a violent attack is both mesmerizing and terrifying to see. It's not meant to rely on brute strength, and it seems Opal is using it to do just that. She has to release her anger somehow. " _Opal!_ " 

Her lightsaber flies out of her hand and her knees buckle beneath her. 

Bant lays two hands on her shoulders. The Mon Kalamari _knows_ , she's been around her and Obi-Wan enough to see how differently they act around each other then Bant and Obi do. She and Opal and Obi-Wan have been good friends for years, and once you grow to know someone as deeply as they do, it's easy to tell the desires of their heart. 

"Bant-" 

She holds up a hand. "You're angry. Resentful. I can _sense_ it radiating off of you in waves. What's brought this on?" 

"It's been six months." Six _agonizing_ months of no contact from Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan, left to do nothing around the Temple except train and attend her classes as every good padawan did. She was _tired_ of doing everything by the book. "Six months of not knowing whether or not he's dead. Whether or not he found someone else as that idiot wears his heart on his _sleeve-_ " 

"That's one of his more admirable qualities." Bant sits across from her and tucks her knees beneath her. "His heart is very tender, I'll give him that. He's so busy putting others before himself that I think he forgets to take care of himself too. It's a good thing he has people who love him." 

"I know." And she does. 

"Who _love_ him." 

"You're not seriously insinuating-" Bant beams at the utter indignation on Opal's face because they're Jedi - she's not _supposed_ to have attachments, she's not _supposed_ to love but she's so _tired_ of following the rules of the Code. Screw the Code. If she's going to love Obi-Wan Kenobi she is going to love him with her entire soul because hers has been intertwined with his since the day they met, even if he doesn't know it. "You think I-" 

"I _know_ you love him, Opal. You don't want to acknowledge it and I get that. It's because of the way we were brought up. The Code is at the core of every Jedi's life and it's something Obi-Wan follows more then most of us do, which is ironic given the Master he's been paired with almost never follows his own Code. I see how he is around people. He _needs_ people.. and I think _his_ person has always been you." Tears blur her eyes but Bant continues with her silence as confirmation. "You were the one he sought out after Bandomeer and Melida/Daan. No one else. Ever wonder why?" 

She hadn't. Being with him was just so.. it was so _easy._

"You give him the things he has never had. Safety, reassurance, comfort, warmth.. home. The Jedi Order might act like his home, but his _real_ home is with you. You're a refuge and that's not something he's going to take advantage of. You might not have loved him when you met, but over time? You gradually fall harder and harder until you realize the truth: You love him." 

"I'm sensing the _and_ here, Bant." 

"You love him, and the worst part of it all is that you have no idea if he loves you back.''

She thinks about their conversation well into the night after several hours of deep meditation with her Master. Master Plo is not stupid, nor oblivious, but if he senses her budding relationship with the Jedi he doesn’t make habit of mentioning it. He most likely saw it as nothing but closely knitted friendship built by years of training as Padawans. 

His heart lies with her when she sleeps. Despite the close proximity, she realizes just how much she misses him. 

And she hates it. 

***

_I don't have you._

He's doe eyed when he finally returns from Mandalore. There's something lingering behind the blues of his gaze - something sad, like he's lost what he never had - but the minute Obi-Wan Kenobi steps off that transport with Qui-Gon Jinn, he sprints through the temple in search of his best friend. 

He's surprised to find her sparring with Plo-Koon in the Master's Training Area. Shaak Ti sits in the stands surrounding the arena as well with Luminara Unduli, both of which have come to greatly respect her in the time she’s been training with the three of them. Granted they have beaten her multiple times in that time-frame, but she learned with every defeat. 

Opal sees him first, and the locking of eyes is the precise moment when Plo drives the killing blow into her chest with the practice saber. 

"Welcome home, young one." Luminara greets, but Obi-Wan doesn't hear her because he's looking at _her_ like she's the sun and the stars. She looks and _feels_ different then she was when he left for Mandalore, before he met Satine and before he fell in love- And _oh_ , that's why she's looking at him like that, because of the promise they made each other. He's gone and broken it. "I see a reunion is in order. Master Ti, Master Plo, would you care to accompany me to the Room of a Thousand Fountains?" 

Plo knows about her relationship with Obi-Wan. They're good friends. Opal has told him enough about it to know that they balance each other out quite well and that much can be left unsaid over a year of time, so he leads Luminara and Shaak Ti out of the training room even though it's meant to be used by the Masters. They don't mind. Plo-Koon trusts her more then most. 

Opal is still breathing hard whenever he comes up to meet her. Another birthday has come and gone for her, and she no longer wears her hair down and loose but pulled tightly back into two braids that are long enough to resemble the montrals of the Torgruta. Her eyes are the same, but there's something there that wasn't there before. 

Obi-Wan can't quite make out what it is. 

"Ah, the infamously defiant padawan has returned. Tell me, did the Duchess of Mandalore get to fall in love with those starry eyes too, just like Siri?" Ah, so that's it. She's _angry._ The taunting remark stings as they both draw their practice sabers. If it's a fight she wants, it's a fight she'll get. 

"The insurgence on Mandalore was dealt with." He replied curtly. "I've only just returned." 

_Why do you think he sought you out after Bandomeer and Melida/Daan?_

"So you've come seeking out your favorite person. Or.. wait.. _no._ I'm just a home for that aching heart of yours." Hurt fills his features as he blocks a rather devastating attack. She's _sloppy_ when she fights like this and if he waits long enough, he'll subdue her after she's vented. "Tell me, did you think of me fondly while you were off falling in love? I know you, Obi-Wan! Don't think I don't see how she falls for that charm!" 

He hasn't told her that despite harboring feeling for Satine, she _knew_ in the moments he'd tell her about his life back home that he loved someone else. He's buried it, of course, because that's what good Jedi do. They follow their orders. His order is The Code. 

"You're right. I _did_ think fondly of you." He snaps. Opal grimaces underneath the pressure of his saber, desperately trying to sense his attacks before they come. Obi-Wan is brutal when he wants to be. "As I was running for my life and trying to protect a Duchess who needed my _help_ , I was thinking about how you were here with the Masters and you were _safe_ and how if you kept up with them you'd probably be a Knight by the time I returned! And then I'd have nobody like I had nobody when we met!" 

Her eyes burn under the light of the practice saber. 

"Me? A _Knight?"_ She deadpanned. "Are you kidding? I'm not _you!_ I'll never _be_ you! I can't live up to the expectations of the great and powerful Obi-Wan Kenobi! I train with Luminara and Shaak Ti and Master Plo because I was _alone_.. and they were there!" 

He disarms her with ease and holds the blade to her throat. She's on her knees in total surrender with his heart in her hands and she's _angry_ that he went off and fell in love with someone who wasn't her. 

Then she's on top of him, body trapped in the cage of her arms. They're breathing heavily and _Maker_ it's too hot, and his heart lies between them and she just wants him to take it _back._

"Take it back." 

"Take what back?! My commitment to the Order? My commitment to my Master?" He's shouting now, and Opal wants to cry, but he's still pinned beneath her body and she's hyperaware of just how close he really is and how there's not another soul around. "What do you want me to take back, Opal?" 

" _Your heart."_

His breath catches in his throat because he knows she's been keeping it safe since the day he came back from Bandomeer and sought her out for the comfort he needed. There was no one else more willing to do so. "My-My heart?" 

"I can't keep it anymore if you're just gonna go off and fall in love. First Siri, then Satine.." Her eyes flicker back up to meet his own. "I can't do it. I _won't_ do it." 

Opal rolls off of him until they're laying side by side in the silence. There's something hanging between them - unconfessed feelings thanks to their upbringing - and they're both terrified it will tear their friendship apart. Obi-Wan is not going to see Satine ever again and Siri is a thing of the past.. they are of the here and now. 

"I'm sorry." Obi-Wan whispers. His fingers seek out her own and loosely lace together. Warmth and comfort and assurance flows through their Bond and eases the tension in her shoulders and the tears pricking her eyes. "I did not realize I hurt you." 

"Well, you did." 

"Can you forgive me?" 

Opal rolls on her side and feigns a smile. She doesn't think he believes her, but for right now, it's enough. Maybe with time they'll heal and they'll forget this entire thing ever happened. "You're forgiven." She whispers. "Always. What's Kenobi without Stone?" 

He's nothing, but he won't tell her that. 

She watches him leave the training room, and one thought rings across her mind. 

_I can't have you. I don't have you. I won't ever have you._

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_"You loved him enough to let him leave,_

_now you need to love yourself enough to let him go."_

_Ranata Suzuki_

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	7. Parting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they say goodbye.

[ **Authors Note: The majority of these before we get into the movies will be short. Wait until The Clone Wars. I've got _loads_ of stuff coming for you! And it features the Clones and their General!]**

They're not good at the endings, but they really weren't good at the beginning either. Opal suspected that at _some point_ her relationship with Obi-Wan would fall apart, and her uncle seems rather keen on keeping them as far away from each other as possible and that makes her heart ache because _he_ is all she has and _she_ is all he has because her uncle treats him _terribly_ but who is going to listen to a padawan?

So she unwillingly watches the gap grow wider, 

and more treacherous, 

until it's so large and so dark that she isn't sure there's another side of it where he's waiting for her.

Opal had thought that it was the will of The Force to draw them together whenever she'd been introduced as an initiate. Maybe she'd listened wrongly. Maybe he was supposed to go on and do things far beyond anything she could even fathom for herself. 

Maybe. 

She bids Obi-Wan farewell alongside Master Plo because he's been getting more missions and she sees him less and less, but now she wears a mask of no emotion, and her eyes are cold and her lips are pressed together so hard that they're now numb. 

When she doesn't have him, she has the Masters who will train her. Shaak Ti and Luminara and Plo-Koon, who is really more a father now then a Master. She doesn't need him. She _doesn't_ need him, she _doesn't-_

" _So long, Kenobi."_ Her voice is smooth with not a drop of the usual sentiment lingering in her tone. " _Try not to die."_

He's reaching across their Bond and probes at the _impenetrable_ shields she put up because _gods forbid_ he's able to see the heartache and the guilt and the shame lingering just behind them, threatening to break out and expose her. 

His lips turn upward in a tiny smile and she thinks that maybe, just _maybe,_ he's going to miss her too.

They're going to be great Jedi. 

_Just you wait. Just you wait..._

***

It'll be a while before Obi-Wan and Opal will see each other again. She'll spend much time training with Master Windu to better identify shatter points in the Force. She'll learn most of the Forms of saber combat from Shaak Ti and Luminara, even though they'll leave her more bruises and sprained ribs until she's so _good_ she can keep up with them. 

Plo-Koon becomes like the father she really has never known and every day Opal is confident she made the right choice in choosing him as a Master. Plo is _there_ and he _listens_ and Maker his heart is so open.

Obi-Wan Kenobi eventually becomes a distant memory as Opal Stone becomes a legend in the eyes of the Initiates and other Padawans who watch her be stretched beyond comprehension and her skills sharpen and she's a _good_ Jedi, but she won't ever _be_ like the ones who sit on the Council. She's too tender-hearted, she loves too deeply and forms attachments with whoever will reciprocate them and _that_ will be her undoing one day. 

She tries to learn more languages to be able to speak with the younglings, but she fails, rather epically. Obi-Wan will teach her more in the future as he is rather fluent in most of the major languages. The clones will teach her _Mando'a_ later on as well, and it will become her tongue for endearments towards those she loves. 

But that's not _this_ part of the story, now is it? 

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_“When you come back you will not be you. And I may not be I.”  
― **E.M. Forster**_

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	8. Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the reunion.

Plo-Koon takes to calling her _Starlight._ Why, she doesn't know, but Opal Stone finds herself spending alot more time practicing with the Kel Dor Jedi Master and finds that she _thrives_ beneath his teaching far more then she had under Master Windu. After Obi-Wan parts from her, Opal approaches the Council and asks for official reassignment. It wasn’t like Masted Windu had trained her anyway. 

They all agree, as does Mace. He doesn't seem to particularly _care_ that she's asked to be reassigned to a different Master, but he and Yoda wish her well and believe she will flourish beneath Plo. She does. Not only because he's a _fantastic_ teacher but it's also because he _cares_ about her. 

They don't tell you he has one of the biggest hearts of any of the Jedi in the Order. 

So by the time she's 23, Opal is sent out on a mission _without_ her Master just mere weeks out from her Trials. It's meant to be a means to see if she's actually ready for them, that much is obvious, but Opal has been under the tutelage of Luminara Unduli and Plo-Koon for so long that there is no doubt in her mind she could complete the Trials with relative ease. 

Theed is much more beautiful then she ever anticipated it to be. The Jedi Council had sent her with the bare minimum of information as to _why_ she was going to Naboo, but the thought of working with other Jedi that she was less familiar with exhilarated her and eased her nerves about the mission itself. 

She wasn't expecting Qui-Gon Jinn to be the first one to step off of the transport. He's _beaming_ like he's proud of how much she'd grown in the time they'd spent apart, but he seems far more interested in the opinion of his Apprentice hidden within the belly of the ship they'd arrived on. 

" _I'm surprised he hasn't shown his face yet. He's normally so up front about his introductions. Obi!"_ Her heart stutters in her chest at the familiar name and she suddenly _aches_ the way she had all those years ago, when she was barely a woman and had to learn to let go of the love she was destined to never have. " _Come and meet our third Ambassador to the Chancellor!"_

The world stops moving whenever Obi-Wan Kenobi steps out of that transport and locks eyes with Opal Stone for the first time in nearly seven years. Her hair is braided back in a plaited style that reminds him of a time long gone, onyx eyes widening in _disbelief_ and _shock_ as they openly stare at one another. 

_Force_ help him, he didn't think he'd have missed her so much. 

***

Not a single thing has changed about Obi-Wan Kenobi except for the fact his Padawan braid is _much_ longer then it was when he'd left her, and his saber combat ability is _immensely_ better then her own. He fights with the grace of someone who has been deep on the front lines of combat for _years._

She hates how he still manages to take her breath away with just a single look. 

_Boy, you've got me helpless_

_Look into your eyes and the skies the limit_

_I'm helpless.._

He still protects her the same way he did when they were Initiates and later taken on as Padawans. He pushes her behind him and they fight back to back as if they were _born_ to be watching over the other in the heat of battle, and his eyes seek out her own as if he's looking to immerse himself in the darkness and never return.

_Down for the count and I'm drowning in them_

Oh.. this is _bad._ She had buried her feelings for him _years_ ago, they were never supposed to resurface again! They were supposed to gradually dissipate over time and he'd become nothing more then a distant memory, the chapter of a story she was intent that would honor her parents. But Obi-Wan is _here_ and he's _alive_ and that's a far cry from the distant memory she's practically begging him to be so she doesn't have to deal with the desires of her heart. 

When Qui-Gon forces them to remain behind together on the Royal Starship of Naboo that has landed on Tatooine, it's exactly what she's anticipating: tense and awkward and there's a _ravine_ built over years worth of things left unsaid that neither of them are willing to navigate, and so they don't. Obi-Wan is one to adhere to the Code moreso then Qui-Gon ever was, and Opal doesn't think that'll ever change. 

She admires him out of the corner of her eye instead as they wait for news on the needed part to fix the starship. Much of his adolescent face has thinned out and sharpened, but the thing that really draws her is how _set_ and _hard_ his eyes are. He's definitely handsome, and it's nice to have someone to admire, but Opal is more focused on how _different_ he is now. Hardened by what he's been through. 

He'd already had enough suffering for a life time. Why did he have to endure _more?_

Qui-Gon tells them of a boy, one she isn't aware will _rock_ their world later on when they take him as a Padawan _together._ A slave boy who goes by Anakin Skywalker who they find has the strongest midichlorian count of any Jedi in the history of The Order. Her uncle has always been one to believe in the ancient prophecies, and so he immediately assumes this boy could be The Chosen One. 

And the thought is so ridiculous to _both_ of them because The Chosen One - Who is supposed to bring balance to The Force - is nothing more then a myth told to younglings, and they _laugh._ Obi-Wan and Opal laugh until tears stream down their face and that moment mends something together of their bond that was shattered, but not broken, years ago. 

So she turns in the co-pilots seat, and they talk. 

Obi-Wan tells her of the adventures he took place in. 

Opal tells him of her reassignment to Plo-Koon and training with the Masters and how _everyone_ in the Temple reveres her because she's a _legend._ Obi-Wan smiles at this because he _knows_ how much she hates being the center of attention, but that rare smile makes her heart flutter and she doesn't see it often enough, so she keeps talking. 

When the cold threatens to choke her and encompasses their ship, Opal believes it to be something _dark_ that has made planet fall. They don't know what it is, but the two Jedi keep a close eye out for any sign of threat well into the morning to ensure the safety of their Master. Opal struggles with her inner conflict upon awaking because he's looking at her with that open expression of concern she saw frequently as a child, and she wants nothing more then to open the walls she'd built up and let him _in_ but then he'll leave again, and she'll be alone. 

"Please don't push me out." It's a request, not a demand, one that tells her he's still keenly interested in being actively involved in her life again after so many years apart because now they're _adults_ and they're dedicated to The Order and he _missed_ her. They've made far too many promises to each other to go breaking the rest of them now. 

"It's not you." _But it is, you don't know how badly I want you to be mine._ "Master Plo and Luminara are the only two who I've managed to _not_ push away for fear of later losing them. It's a nasty habit I need to break." She feigns that smile he knows so well in hopes he'll believe she's alright for the time being, and Obi-Wan seems to buy it. "I'm just glad you're here." 

And she is. Opal _is_ glad he's here but his presence so close to her side is dredging up long buried affection she'd spent so long trying to avoid, and now Qui-Gon can most likely _see_ that, and it's going to cause them so many problems if her secret is exposed. They'll tell her to let him go. To let go of her feelings, release them into The Force, and forget they ever existed. 

When Lorelei and Parker had died, Opal had made a promise to never fall in love with another Jedi. She'd grown to know the heartache that came with that the deeper and more intimate her relationship with Obi-Wan had become, but then they'd grown apart and she'd managed to _keep_

The only issue with her promise _now_ was that every time, without fail, Obi-Wan had the uncanny ability to make her feel like she would eventually break it. 

When she held him as they wept over the body of her fallen uncle mere moments after Obi-Wan killed the _Sith Zabrak,_ hands desperately clutching the fabric of his robes as they mourned together, she knew it then to be true: No matter _what_ the Jedi said to try and sway her about her attachments and how dangerous they proved to be, she would not break them. She would not deny herself the ability to love any more then she already had. 

She won't. 

She _can't._


	9. You Think I Don't Love You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where he doubts.

When they train you to be a Jedi of The Order, they don't tell you about loss or grief. They don't tell you that when a Master loses a Padawan or a Padawan can't protect their Master that the grief is _suffocating_ because all you can think of is the _what ifs?_ What could I have done differently? If I had done this, would they still be alive?

_If I had fought just a little harder, relied on the Force more, would Qui-Gon have made it? Would he be the one training Anakin and not us?_

While Opal takes the responsibility of starting Anakin's training, Obi-Wan interjects when necessary and the two of them often spend much of their time working together to find the best way of teaching such a young one that would make it easier for him to understand. 

Opal doesn't tell Obi-Wan of the way she _sobs_ when she sleeps at night, memories of Maul's eyes and Qui-Gon's final plead echoing in her ears. 

Obi-Wan doesn't tell her of his crippling battle with _exhaustion_ and _loneliness._ He doesn't tell her that he knows Anakin despises him, wishes him to be in Qui-Gon's place because then that would mean he'd grow into the Jedi everyone believed he would be. 

Kenobi has a problem with failure. He doesn't _want_ to fail Anakin, but he will, no matter what he does because _nothing_ is ever enough. 

" _Master Opal_ ," A tiny voice breaks through her meditation and Opal opens them to meet those of her Padawan. Anakin has never looked _smaller_ then he does in that moment, dressed in his newly acquired robes with the tiny threaded makings of a Padawan braid curled behind his ear. " _Something's wrong."_

That concerns her. 

"What's wrong, sweet boy?" 

Anakin hesitates and that tells her this is something he _obviously_ doesn't want to talk about. "It's.. It's Master Obi-Wan. He's been.. _off_ since Master Qui-Gon's cremation." The former slave eases his way into her quarters and wrings his hands anxiously as he musters the courage to speak. He's so used to having to keep secrets, because keeping secrets means _safety_ and he can't lose anyone else by keeping them. Master Stone was one of the few to embrace him so _openly,_ to open her arms wide along with her heart and accept him as her own. Obi-Wan had not done that. 

"I know he has, Ani. Master Obi-Wan had been with Master Qui-Gon for _many_ years. It will take him a little while to get back to normal." She doesn't tell him that she too struggles with returning to normalcy, that despite everything she held against Qui-Gon, he was family and Opal _missed_ him. "And how did you come to find this out?" 

"That-The Force Bond!" Anakin exclaimed. "Master Yoda told me about the Master and Padawan Force bonds and how one end can be closed off to the other person if necessary. That's what.. That's what he did. I _felt_ his anger and his _sadness_ before everything was just...." 

"Muted?" Opal asked. 

"Yes." 

The Jedi Knight smiles warmly at her Padawan and urges him to his quarters to rest while she goes in search of Obi-Wan. The Temple Halls are quiet as dusk has already fallen and many have retreated for the night, but not her. 

Her search for Obi-Wan leads her to the doors that lead into The Halls of Healing where Obi-Wan is _shining_ with grief through The Force, but he's not alone - Bant is with him - and it hits her _hard_ then that Obi-Wan also has so _few_ people left. 

" _I know you, Obi-Wan. Opal knows you. The Masters on the Council respect you.. the Padawans and the Initiates call you The Sith Killer! You are vastly respected and loved by nearly everybody in the Order!"_

They both wince. That is _not_ how they need to be remembered. 

" _I am indebted to Anakin out of obligation, and Opal.."_ Her breath catches hard in her chest because that doesn't sound like it leads to something good, it sounds like a weight on his shoulders that's threatening to buckle his knees and force him to surrender. " _Opal is good to me, I will admit.. but she too will eventually take on a Padawan of her own."_

Master Plo had already introduced her to several, but none of them had caught her attention. 

" _There are so few left.. So few of our creche mates as most of us have moved on to our own specialties.."_ Bant's hands wrap around his shoulders to steady him in his seat, murmured words of her native tongue echoing in the otherwise silent room. " _Maker, Bant.. I can't do this. I can't train him. I can't be-"_

Qui-Gon.

There's something else there though. Something she saw when Qui-Gon casted him aside for another, something she saw when Anakin would throw his head back and laugh that _breathtaking_ smile that Obi-Wan so rarely saw. Their Padawan was attached to his female Master, but he had an incredibly difficult time getting along with his male Master. Maybe Anakin took to her because she reminded him of his mother. 

Anakin loved her. She loved _him,_ but yet...

Opal flees back to their quarters and sends a message to Master Plo and Master Windu and Bant before falling asleep, intending to wake in the morning with a new mission for Anakin before he left for his classes. 

***

Obi-Wan _snaps_ awake the next morning and is overcome by a wave of sadness that he's beginning to grow more accustomed to feeling. The quarters he and Opal took over had once been his and Qui-Gon's, but he and Opal had been working to make it _theirs_ since returning from Naboo. 

There's a corner of the room dedicated to his Master. He thinks it's enough. 

"Mm.. good morning, Opal." He greets roughly, voice hoarse with sleep as he rubs at his eyes with his hands. "What-" 

"C'mere, Kenobi." Her voice is _warm_ and _soft_ and practically beckoning her to it like a siren call, and Obi-Wan pads across the floor to the kitchen where Opal stands with his favorite cup of tea. He hadn't been drinking it for fear they'd run out of the sparse amount of tea that had been a staple of his childhood, something he desperately wanted to cling to. "Your favorite, from our Padawan years." 

The familiar smell brings back a lifetime of memories, good ones, and his heart _aches._

"Thank you." Her fingers curl around his own as he sits in the chair across from her and slowly sips at the beverage. "What's the occasion?" 

She wants to tell him. Wants to tell him that she _feels_ his distance, understands that he think he's not loved.. but she doesn't. She _doesn't_ understand how he feels that way when she's done literally everything possible since they were children to show him. 

Well, Opal always appreciated a challenge. 

"I'm showing you how much I appreciate you and your promise to help train Anakin. It'll be endearing.. a way to keep the memory of my uncle alive." Opal murmurs. "Speaking of our Padawan, I think you should seek him out. His classes are done for the day, and he probably wants to train in the salle." 

She recognizes the look he then gives her - _why me? he likes you more -_ but Obi-Wan isn't one to tell her _no,_ and so he bids her farewell just before the delivery droid shows up at her door with _six_ boxes of the tea Qui-Gon drank, and Opal smiles at the sight of it. 

***

She hides in the nooks and crannies of the Temple all afternoon after Obi-Wan leaves to see if the people she has recruited are following through on their word. 

Master Windu dedicates nearly an hour and a half to training with Obi-Wan in the Master's training arena where she'd spent so much of her time training as a Padawan with Master Plo and Master Luminara. 

Plo-Koon seeks him out not to talk about Council matters or his newly appointed duties as a Knight _and_ a teacher, but just to see how he _is._

He comes to their quarters standing a little bit straighter that night. Opal doesn't see how he sags when he's alone, or how his brain goes into overdrive long into the night of all the things he _should_ be doing instead of sleeping. 

Four days later, Anakin comes _racing_ into the salle with a training saber and the biggest smile Obi-Wan has ever seen, practically _begging_ for them _both_ to be there whenever he trains today. There's a lot of careful instruction and insight from them both as Anakin grows in his saber skills, and he leaves with a lot of bruises but it's the happiest he's seemed since they brought him to Coruscant from Tatooine. 

Anakin's childlike _joy_ and _laughter_ is a balm to their aching hearts. Obi-Wan actually sleeps peacefully that night because of how _exhausted_ he is, and Opal keeps watch over his dreams to ward away any terrors that may lurk in the corners of his mind. 

Opal learns quickly that the older Obi-Wan gets, the more he puts the wellbeing of other people in front of himself and practically runs himself into the ground. He overworks, doesn't eat, doesn't _rest_ the way he should because he's far too busy trying to be focused on Anakin. 

He gets a Force suggestion or two as time goes on. She still sits beside him into the wee hours of the morning to ensure he's actually _asleep_ , but he seems lighter upon waking. 

"Obi-Wan." Opal is standing over two steaming plates of his _favorite_ breakfast in the kitchen dressed in her usual attire without the accompanying robes, hair messily pulled back and eyes _shining_ as she waits for his reaction. "How did you sleep?" 

"Better then I have in a while." He replies. "Feels like I was placed under Force suggestion." 

Her eyes widen. He has her. "Okay, in _my_ defense-" 

"People have been paying much more attention to me in recent weeks since-" Obi-Wan swallows the knot in his throat as memories of flames and failure echo behind his eyes. "More so then normal. I _know_ I'm the youngest appointed to teach, as are you, but _no one_ is paying attention to you the way they are to me. Why? Why _me?_ " 

Opal thinks he isn't just talking about being a legend among the Jedi anymore. 

"Don't you think you've more then earned the respect and love of the people in the Order by now?" 

No. _No._ Why would he want or _earn_ the respect of The Order when he was the very reason his Master died at the hands of the _Zabrak?_ Obi-Wan Kenobi is not a legend, he's a failure and he's _way_ out of his depth. 

"I know that look." Obi-Wan bows his head to his chest, fearful of her reaction, and doesn't speak. He's afraid his voice may betray him if he does. "Do you _really_ believe I don't love you? _Me?_ Who believed in you when no one else would? Who fought for _you_ when everyone else believed you a failure of a Jedi? Who has _always_ been here for you? How can you go all of this time thinking that I don't love _you,_ Kenobi?" 

"Your uncle is _dead._ My Master-" Force, when did his eyes start _burning?_ "Is _gone_ because of my arrogance, because of my inability to protect him like a Padawan _should._ If I had just been faster, if I had-" 

His breath catches in his throat when Opal closes the space between them and cradles his jaw in her hands like he is the most delicate thing she has ever touched. "You insufferable fool." She muttered. "Don't you think I equally blame myself for that? I was there. I should've done _more_ , but I didn't. I miss him terribly but we are fulfilling his last wish by training Anakin." His eyes flicker upward and meet hers, and they fill with more tears because oh, _oh_ how he _needs_ this. "I think you were _born_ sad, Obi-Wan. No matter how happy you act, you always look sad. I think it's because of how you view yourself, how you think others should view you. You _love_ and _love_ and _love_ and believe you have to earn it in return. You _don't_." 

Her arms envelop him fully. Obi-Wan eyes the boxes of tea through the corner of his eyes and pays them no mind because right now what he really needs is the assurance of another person who's here with him. She's gone out of her way to show him that despite his failures and his _low_ self esteem, his destructive tendencies and his utter lack of ability to teach Anakin, he's _respected_ and _loved_ by the people he calls family. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi's family is a little boy destined for the stars,

thousands of brothers and sisters gifted in The Force,

and a woman, a _remarkable woman,_ who somehow always manages to see the best of him even when he doesn't see it himself. 

<><><><><><><><>

_Gently lay your hands on their soul like a whisper,_

_and find the places in which they are broken._

_Then love them until these fractured places become crevices,_

_and the crevices become thin white scars_ , 

_that they can only just remember._

_\- Nikita Gill_


	10. There Is Suffering Too Terrible To Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they mourn.

The Jedi Order tells you upon initiation that you're meant to simply just _release_ your feelings, your _emotions,_ into The Force. They want you to forego all the things that make you _human._ Opal Stone was never one to follow the rules of her creche master, but Obi-Wan Kenobi was. 

Which is why they grieve Qui-Gon Jinn in totally different manners. Obi-Wan buries himself deep in the matter of training _The Chosen One_ who is slowly coming more and more into his own despite being years behind the other Padawans, and Opal visits. She visits with Luminara and Shaak Ti and Mace and Yoda and Plo, and she _talks_ to distract herself during the day. It's about the only thing keeping her grounded outside of Anakin, who is more of Obi-Wan's responsibility then hers as _he_ was the one her uncle asked to train him. 

She wonders if Obi resents Qui-Gon for it. For casting him aside so quickly after working for _years_ to gain his favor, for deeming him ready for his Trials just so they could part more quickly and Qui-Gon could take on a _legend._ Her uncle always had favored the prophecies. Why wouldn't he have wanted to see that one through himself before his life was cut short? 

"Starlight, you're distracted by something." Plo's voice drew her from her trance as Opal buried her hands deeper in her robes and continued following him through the halls of the Temple. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing. It's just-" _Qui-Gon. He's everywhere._ "You know, Master. You _know._ Letting go is not something I've ever been good at.. and it's only been a couple of weeks since we came back from Theed and people won't stop _looking_ at me. They revere Obi-Wan and I and we _hate_ it. I just.. want to mourn my family in peace." 

_There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no emotion, there is peace-_

"Your colleague has not been into your quarters in many days." Her eyes widen as the Kel Dor eyes her through the goggles that cover his own. It shouldn't come as a surprise that Obi-Wan has not slept, much less ate, but the thought of him _neglecting_ himself because he's too buried in his work makes her stomach turn in a way that sparks _rage._ "I think you should speak with him. See _why_ he won't take care of himself." 

There's a hint of a threat in her former Master's voice and the sound makes her _laugh._ "Forgive me, Master Plo... but did you just threaten Obi-Wan?" 

If he could smile, Opal was sure he'd be doing it then. " _No_." He corrected. "I'm just telling you, both as your friend and as your former Master, to look after Kenobi. Somebody needs to." 

With that being said, The Kel Dor Master leaves her alone in the halls of the Temple and Opal begins searching through The Force. Obi-Wan has always been steeped in the Light, ever since they were children together in the créche, which has always made him a beacon in the Force that was easy for her to find. 

Now, however, she does not find him easily because his Force Signature has dimmed. He's dark, steeped in unfelt suffering over the grief he has not allowed himself to feel. 

While Opal heals, Obi-Wan suffers. He is _the perfect_ _Jedi_ after all. He cannot be anything less in front of his Padawan. 

Her search leads her to the training salles which is where she finds Anakin Skywalker outside a locked door with his hands buried deep in his robes and his expression one of nothing but concern for his Master. "Master?" His voice calls out to her, and blue eyes meet blue as Opal nears him. "I was wondering when you'd show up." 

Opal bends down to press a kiss to the top of his head. "Thank you, Ani." She whispers. Her eyes flicker to the keypad on the door. The button is bright red, meaning he'd locked it on purpose. "How long has he been in there?" 

"Half an hour, maybe more. I went looking for him in your quarters after classes and it doesn't look like he's been in there for _days._ " Anakin reaches into the knapsack on his belt and produces a ration bar. "I would've gone to the mess, but-" 

"No. It's okay.'' Opal palms the bar and slips it into the gap between her belt and her hip. "You go to the padawan quarters. We will join you later. Meanwhile-" Her eyes flicker to the door as she lifts her hand and _very_ slowly begins working against the locking mechanism to free it. "I have a conversation that needs to be spoken." 

***

He's practicing the movements for Soresu as if he breathes them, arms gliding in sync with his saber as the blue Kyber lights up the room. Obi-Wan can hear the door open and he knows the silhouette that walks in more then he knows himself but that doesn't stop his movements. He doesn't stop because if he does the dark will suffocate him and he will _fall._

He cannot fall. If he falls, he fails Qui-Gon. 

Opal doesn't bother to speak as she leans against the opposite wall and spins the hilt of her saber in her hand in the midst of shedding her outer robes. Obi-Wan has never been someone to lash out in his anger as Anakin is clearly displaying. He's _words._ Not actions. 

So she slides her back down the wall, draws her knees to her chest, and waits. 

It's nearly three hours into watching him that he _really_ begins to feel it. He'd barricaded his mind behind impenetrable mental shields almost as soon as he felt Anakin lingering outside the door, but the minute Opal came inside he felt them crumble and he'd been desperately working on keeping them erect since. It's not until he loses focus for that split second that he _feels_ it - a warmth unlike anything he's felt since the cold sank into his bones - and she continues sending that across their bond until he breaks his focus and snaps over to meet her eyes. 

They're warm. Inviting. _Why?_

"I take it you want something?" 

"Uhm, yeah. I haven't been sitting here for the last three hours wanting to spar, if that's what you're asking." Opal muses. Her humor is not met with the usual sharp quip. _That_ is terrifying. "Obi-Wan, when was the last time you ate? Slept? _Bathed?_ " 

"Are you saying I smell?" He can barely see her in the dark which had been purposeful, but he's always _felt_ Opal. "I already told you. I told the other Masters, I told Anakin. I'm _fine._ " 

A hand comes out to rest against his face which has been neglected for the last several days and so he now sports a light auburn stubble across his jaw. They don't know it yet, but he'll grow that into a beard later on down the line. Opal _loves_ his beard. 

"You should know better, Kenobi." A whisper against his cheek as she guides his hand to rest against the curve of her hip. Even in the darkness that consumes him - the cold that makes him _numb_ to the very thing he wishes to hide from - he can feel every detail about her. The muscles of her arms, the curve of her hips, the way her eyes soften as he practically leans into her warmth like a man who's been deprived of touch for too long. Maybe he has. Maybe he's just desperate for _her._ "I'm not the other Masters and I'm _certainly_ not our Padawan. I'm _Opal,_ remember-" 

He nearly keels over when her forehead rests against his. 

"Remember you're not the only one who lost." 

Obi-Wan is met with the image of himself cradling Qui-Gon's body. Instead of the image he'd been seeing in his nightmares - him slaughtering the Zabrak and mourning _alone_ \- now there's a head of blonde hair and warm hands that envelop his own as they weep _together._

He'd almost forgotten that he wasn't alone. As long as Opal was around, Obi-Wan Kenobi would _never_ be alone. 

"He's gone." Cracked lips quiver as Opal waves her hand towards the light controls and dims the lights just enough to see his form. That's when she realizes how _haggard_ he looks. Dark bags under his eyes and robes hanging limply against his form. He looked so _small._ "Opal, he's _gone-_ " 

She nods. It has taken her a while to merely accept the fact that she'd been unable to save him (even with her blossoming skill of Force healing) but she'd _acknowledged_ it, had begun _mourning_ him in the quietness of her quarters. "He is gone, and we couldn't save him." Opal took his head and gently guided it to rest against her shoulder while enveloping him as tightly as her arms would allow. " _We_ couldn't save him, Obi. It's not on you." 

That's when his wall comes tumbling down. 

_It's not on you._

And in the quietness of a training salle in the only home he's ever known, Obi-Wan Kenobi breaks down and Opal Stone is there to catch him. 

Little does he know that she breaks too.

***

Obi-Wan is warm. He's _really_ warm. Warmer then he's been since Qui-Gon died. It's not until his eyes open and adjust to dim light that he realizes he's curled in on himself on the floor and that there's another body beside him. A body with blonde hair. "Hm." He hums, rolling over to wrap his arm around her waist. 

Opal smiles and slides deeper into his embrace. 

"We should probably get up." She whispers in reply. "The training salle is the last place we want to be found." 

The fact of the matter is that this is the first time he's slept without nightmares in _weeks_ and he really, _really_ doesn't want to get up. He doesn't want to be a Knight with a Padawan who's believed to be The Chosen One. He just wants to be Obi-Wan Kenobi. Just for a moment. 

Just a man - one who feels _way_ too much like his Padawan self - with a woman he cares about far more then he's comfortable to admit. 

"Obi-Wan," She's turned over as he's been deep in his thoughts, blue eyes questioning as she again takes his face in her hands and runs her thumbs over his cheeks. "Come to our quarters with me just so Anakin knows you're okay. Use the refresher. Let me make you food, some tea. You look _terrible._ I just-" Opal swallows the knot in her throat. She's practically on the verge of begging. "I just want to _help_ you. Help you the same you've helped me so many times. _Please._ " 

"Okay." He nods once, then again, just so she sees it. " _Okay._ Okay." 

They leave the salle together and head to their joint quarters. Plo has commed her to inform her that he's been keeping a watchful eye on Anakin since she disappeared yesterday and guided him to his classes earlier this morning. He was going to be preoccupied for a while. 

While Obi-Wan showers, Opal cooks. It's not her favorite pastime but she's been taught enough by her uncle and her master to know what to eat (the things she likes) and what not to eat (the things she doesn't) and by the time Obi-Wan emerges from the refresher shirtless and in a low hanging pair of pants, she's caught breathless by the sight of him. 

He's _stunning._ He might've lost some weight from the lack of self care and his eyes might be a little bit dimmer, but he's still Obi-Wan. 

"My eyes are up here, sweetheart." Blue snaps to meet blue and for the first time in days she sees him smile. It's the best sight she's seen in _months._ "Mmm... what is that?" 

Her hands wrap around the mug that holds his favorite tea and the adjoining plate with his favorite breakfast that Qui-Gon used to cook him as a Padawan. Opal can feel his heartache in the Force, but he doesn't show it. In fact he seems rather _grateful._

"Your favorite." Obi-Wan takes the seat adjacent to her and digs into the food like he hasn't eaten in years, and Opal watches as he does. She's not hungry. Not to mention she's more concerned about him then she is about her. She can take care of herself later whenever he's resting. 

She's deep in the things she needs to do when a warm hand rests on top of her own and it takes _everything_ in her power to not jump out of her skin. Obi-Wan is a Stewjon - which makes him instinctually crave physical touch - but she has not been touched by anyone outside of him for _years._ Her parents are gone, Master Plo only does the bare minimum as he is still a _Jedi_ and a member of the Council, and Anakin is too young to understand what touch starvation is. Which means _Opal_ craves touch from _Obi-Wan._

Hands are a start. 

"Opal." His voice is soft as they meet eyes again, this time in a room glowing in sunlight. The aura from Coruscant's moons makes his eyes appear as if they're bathed in fire. "Thank you." 

He leaves behind the plate and mug and the phantom touch against her hand. She presses it against her cheek and sighs deeply. 

"You're welcome." 

<><><><><><><>

" _But I think, maybe, there is some validity in accepting that a part of you went with the person who died, and a part of them stayed with you."_

_\- Unknown_

<><><><><><><>


	11. Anakin's Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where she comforts her new Padawan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those of you who are like ''this is oc'' - my motto: screw canon, we do what we want

Inside the lonely halls of the Jedi Temple, an even lonelier little boy curls inward on himself; For this is a night unlike anything he's ever faced in his ten years of life. The Padawans quarters are dark and ominous, barely illuminated by the crack of lightning from the storm outside. 

Ah. That. After growing up on a desert planet where it never rained, Anakin Skywalker can sufficiently say he is absolutely _terrified_ of thunder storms. 

The Masters dormitories are only in the hall adjacent to this one. He could get up right now, sneak over there and ask for respite. For safety. It seems the only place he feels safe whenever he's in the Jedi Temple is with Opal and Obi-Wan. 

His teachers have been teaching him to abstain from comfort. To simply _release_ his emotions into The Force. They'd told him _no attachments_ and when he'd brought up missing his mother in Tatooine, they told him to just.. let her go. 

_How was he supposed to just let her go?_

Shmi would've been comforting him by now. Singing an ancient slave lullaby to calm his nerves as he buries his head in her lap and doesn't allow himself to look at whatever is going on outside. Anakin has heard Opal sing quite a few times when she thinks no one else is paying attention. She hums when doing katas and washing dishes and making him dinner when he doesn't feel like going to the mess. Maybe she'll sing him to sleep. 

Maybe she'll make him feel safe. 

Gathering himself in his robes, Anakin quietly sneaks out of his quarters and looks both ways into the hall before rushing through the empty space in the direction of the Kenobi-Stone quarters. 

*** 

Opal hears him before she sees him. Anakin has been something of a beacon in the Force since the day her uncle introduced him to her, but he's practically _radiating_ fear as the door to their quarters open and the Padawan comes stumbling through. 

It's one of the rare nights that Obi-Wan is actually asleep at a decent time. 

"Anakin?" She calls out softly. ''Ani, it's well past-" Opal's eyes flicker to the crono on the wall where it reads **_1:00 AM._** "Your bedtime. You have classes tomorrow." 

"I know, Master. I just-" He curls inward on himself as the next rumble of thunder echoes across the sky along with a _devastating_ crack of thunder. "I can go. I'm sorry for-" 

Anakin stops short as he's filled with warmth and comfort and a desperate urge for _safety_ that flows with ease across his training bond. Opal must have sensed his fear. "Ani," She murmurs lowly. "C'mere sweetheart. You can stay the night here. Obi-Wan won't mind." 

Her arms open. 

Anakin feels like he's about to make the worst choice of his life. Love is _forbidden_ as a Jedi. He's tried so hard to follow their ideals and their principles despite the fact it contradicts everything he's come to know in his very short life, but Opal makes love feel _okay_ and missing his mother feel like a _legitimate_ feeling. Like it's not something he has to bury in the back of his mind with the rest of his feelings about missing home. 

"Ani." She calls again. The lamp light accentuates the brown of her eyes, and she's _warm_ and _soft_ , pulling a spare blanket out of the closet across the room with The Force and spreading it out along the couch in the amount of space that's left between her and the end of it. "There's no reason to be afraid. It's me." 

_It's me. I'm here._

Anakin slips off his robes and boots, lays them on the end of the couch and quietly curls up in the spot Opal has left for him. She's humming again - a melody soft and warm - something he's heard more frequently since coming to the Temple. It might be Coruscant. He doesn't know. 

"I like that song." 

She cards her fingers through her hair while her eyes scan whatever she's reading on her data pad. "Obi-Wan taught it to me when we were in the créche together." She whispers. Opal feels Anakin stiffen underneath her touch as the thunder rumbles outside their Jedi quarters, and she slowly turns his head in her hands so he's looking at her tunic instead of the window. "I used to be afraid of storms too. He sang it to me alot." 

That little truth about herself makes him surprised. It's not often when she does that. "You? I haven't seen you afraid of anything!" Anakin exclaims. Opal peers down at him as his voice is growing thicker with sleep, eyelashes fluttering as he desperately tries to stay awake. 

"Believe me, sweet boy." She whispers. Her eyes follow his as he falls asleep with his hand wrapped around her own that lays against her thigh, and her eyes take one last look out the window as the remnants of the storm lift and the room is cast in darkness. "I am afraid of much in this life. But you.. you are the only thing I'm certain of."

***

When Obi-Wan rises from his sleep the following morning, he stops short at the sight in front of him in the living room. The room is cast in gold from Coruscant's sun that's continuing to rise higher in the sky. Opal is pressed against the back of the sofa, face hidden by a veil of gold as she's buried her face in Anakin Skywalker back. 

His Padawan, even at his ten years of age, looks so young. He looks like the child he _is_ and Obi-Wan's heart aches because this is what Anakin _should_ be, not what The Jedi Order has forced upon him with his supposed destiny as The Chosen One. 

He'll take this moment. Just this one. 

He snags Opal's data-pad to take a photo. It's too precious of a memory to forget, and this is something he wants to remember. Those are too few and far between anymore. This.. this will help him remember that he's capable of producing _good_ things. That his life is not failure after failure. 

"Obi-Wan-" A voice murmurs. His head snaps down as brown meets blue, drowsy with sleep as she smiles up at him. "Leave the boy alone. I can hear your thoughts from across the room.'' The Jedi Knight kneels down at her side and smiles - that same smile that he only reserves for her - and bows his head to press the ghost of a kiss to her forehead. "Let's let him be a child. Just for a little while." 

She's not begging. She's _asking._

"Okay." He replies. Obi-Wan has always found it hard to say no to Opal. "Just for a little while." 

They forego training and sabers and _duty_ for just a day just to hear the sound of Anakin Skywalker's real laugh that bends him over at the waist and makes tears form in his eyes. They teach him how to play _sabbac_ and eat their weight in food that The Council would've scolded them for, and by the time night falls again, their Padawan is curled between them with his eyes glued to a holofilm. 

Their eyes meet. Anakin isn't exactly _attentive_ to the way they can talk with their eyes. Like entire conversations can be passed with just a flicker, like whole worlds pass through blue and into brown. 

_A little while longer?_

_Yeah._ She hoists Anakin into her arms and scoots closer until her head rests on his shoulder. _Just a little longer._

This is The Chosen One and his Masters. They like to believe they're the keepers of his heart - the ones who keep it safe - but little known to them, Anakin Skywalker has already dedicated himself to another. To an _angel._

But we're not that far into the story yet. For now, it'll be the Masters. Just... just for a little longer. 

<><><><><><><><>

_here it's safe_

_and here it's warm_

_and here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet_

_tomorrow rings them true_

_here is the place where i love you_

\- _rue's lullaby, the hunger games_


	12. A Piece of His Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the padawan braid.

It's meant to be cut at the Knighting ceremony and given to your Master. That's what should've happened. It didn't. Not for him. 

*** 

This was meant to be a time of celebration. A time to be _proud_ of the accomplishment in passing the Trials and becoming a Knight of the Jedi Order. It's meant to be _joyous._ Memorable. 

The only thing that makes this memorable is the thought of a grave, a Masterless padawan, and a mostly empty room that is teeming with anguish that's palpable through the Force. 

His braid is cut off by Yoda. It falls into his hand and he just... holds it there. Opal is kneeling beside him and her head is bent low as Master Koon removes his saber, ignites it, and utters the words that will take her into her official ranking of Jedi Knight. 

Obi-Wan hasn't said a word since they got back to Coruscant. 

Her own braid falls into her hand. _That's it._ Years worth of hard work, blood and sweat, tears and _pain_ held inside the individual strands of a braid that has carried her through the greater majority of her life. Hours of apprenticing in the Halls of Healing and fine tuning her abilities with Force Healing - even though she was adamant on being a Knight on the front lines, no Halls for her - and katas with Plo-Koon and Qui-Gon and Luminara and Shaak... just _gone._

Obi-Wan leaves for his quarters before she can even stop him. Opal wants to congratulate him, to make him _feel_ something other then the devastation and the grief that he's working so hard to hide from the other Masters who watch him flee for the quarters he'd shared with Qui-Gon. 

Her braid seems to weigh heavily in her hand. Opal knows it needs to go to Plo. She _knows._ That's what the other Padawans who'd been knighted did. This is meant to be a show of gratitude for all he had taught her since she was a child.

And yet... 

"Padawan," A gentle talon envelops her shoulder as Opal turns around to face her Master. It had taken her quite a while to learn the different micro expressions he often flashed from beneath the mask he was forced to wear, but she had learned. He already knows what she's thinking before she's even said it. "Are you alright?" 

Opal chews her bottom lip nervously. "Honestly, Master.. I am struggling. Losing Qui-Gon is not easy for me." She replies, lifting her hand to tug at a braid that is no longer there. _Kriff you and your habits, Obi-Wan Kenobi._ "But I imagine it's much, much worse for Obi-Wan. He is all he has had since he was brought into the créche." The Knight extends her hand with the braid clutched between her fingers to hand it to the Kel Dor Master. "I believe this should now belong to you, Master Plo." 

His expression softens. 

"As much as I too believe that you're giving this to me out of the desire of your heart to show your gratitude," He tilted his head and extended his hand to gently curl his claws over her fingers, thus tucking the braid back into her own palm. Tear filled brown eyes widen as they snap up to meet his own. "I simply cannot have it." 

"But-"

"I think we both know who needs your comfort more right now." 

In this universe, Opal Stone is the very _proud_ former Padawan of Master Plo-Koon. She will go on through life telling people about the man who made her the Jedi she was. The one who called her Starlight and taught her how to be so, so many things... but if there was anything he'd taught her well just by being _himself,_ it was compassion. 

"It has been my honor to be your Padawan, Master Koon." 

"And I your Master, Knight Stone." He replies. "Now go." 

***

Anakin is waiting when she arrives. "He won't talk. Won't look me in the eye... He won't do _anything,_ Master Stone." Wide, frightened blue eyes lift to meet her own. Opal has forgotten in such a short amount of time just how _young_ he really is. He's barely ten. _Ten._ And here he has already been faced with so much loss. "I'm scared." 

Opal will do this alot in the future. She bends down, cups his face in her hands, and kisses his brow. It's the smallest gestures of a naturally maternal woman that penetrate deepest in Anakin Skywalker's heart. "I am too." She whispers. "But we'll be okay. _All_ of us." 

"How do you know?" Anakin asks when Opal turns to face the familiar durasteel. She can't turn to look at him over her shoulder. Anakin is going to think she holds the key to every answer he seeks. The truth of the matter is she doesn't know. She won't tell him that. 

"Because I have to have hope." She replies. "And _you_ have to have dinner. I can hear your stomach growling from here. Go on." 

"Yes Opal." He beams at her over his shoulder as Plo coincidentally appears at his side, lightly chiding the Padawan as they venture towards the mess hall together. 

Opal turns back to the door, keys in the code, and steps inside. It's deathly silent within the quarters, save the gentle sound of running water that's coming from the 'fresher. "Obi-Wan?" Her voice calls into the empty to find no reply meets her. Opal furrows her brow. This is... uncharacteristic. 

Then again.. he's lost more then she has. 

Removing her robes and her boots, Opal pads through the quarters until she opens the fresher to a sight that breaks her heart: Obi-Wan Kenobi is standing in front of the mirror that's now covered in steam, still clad in his robes, his hands seeking something that is no longer there. His skin is red. Whether or not that's from the steam or from the way he's been crying since he realized just how _alone_ he was.. Opal didn't know. 

" _Obi."_

His head snaps up and for a split second, his eyes are alight with _fury.._ until he realizes it's her. The girl who has never failed to be at his side in his most desperate times. The _woman_ who has been cradling his bleeding heart for so many years that he's confident she'll keep it safe for him. Better then he ever could anyway. 

It breaks now in her capable hands. Her hands that too held the body of her uncle as he went to be with the Cosmic Force in their embrace. 

" _Opal."_ He whimpers. Obi-Wan feels his knees threaten to buckle and _curses_ as she rushes forward to keep him standing by throwing her arms around his waist. His head falls to his chest. " _Opal-Opal-Opal-_ " He says her name like she's an answered prayer, and her reply of " _My dear, darling Obi_ " is his salvation.

Obi-Wan Kenobi breaks. 

Opal Stone catches him. 

The shower is still running. Opal isn't sure how long it's been on, but she takes one look at him over her shoulder and opens the door, tugging on his hand to gesture him inside. He stops right outside the door and lifts his hand where white knuckles are clutched around his braid. 

"I can't." 

"Neither can I." They lay their braids side by side on the side table and stare at them together. It takes him a moment to realize that her braid is _here_ and not with Master Koon. "I tried to give it to him. He refused it." 

" _Why?!_ " Obi-Wan all but shrieks. "Why would he-" 

"I wanted to give it to _you,_ insufferable man. He knew it. I knew it. I wanted you to know that even if the entire galaxy is against you," She says as she leads him into the shower, water soaking through their robes and weighing them down against tired shoulders and aching muscles. Opal smiles in spite of it. "That out here is Anakin and I. And we love you." 

He's stunned. Clearly. No one has ever.. not ever- _never_ loved him the way she does. 

She can't say what her heart _really_ wants to say. That _she_ loves him. That breaks the Code, and Obi-Wan Kenobi will never break the Jedi Code for her. 

Not yet anyway. 

The two of them stand together in silence under a steady stream of hot water. The heat is welcomed into her aching muscles, but the feeling of Obi-Wan very _hesitantly_ moving to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her into the curve of his body so he can bury his face in her shoulder is a relief. It's a relief to know that while she is there for him, he is also there for her. 

Opal's face falls into the crook of his neck and she _weeps._ She will allow herself to feel this. Feel _him._ Feel their loss. 

They will feel it together. Mourn together, heal together. For Qui-Gon. For Anakin. 

***

When they emerge from the 'fresher in clean robes (she's got spares _everywhere_ in here) Obi-Wan stands in the doorway to the 'fresher and peers at the braid in his hand before allowing his gaze to flicker to the woman making tea in the kitchenette adjacent to the bedrooms. 

He's made his decision. If it can't belong with Qui-Gon Jinn, it will belong with her. 

"You gave me a piece of your heart. A piece of you." He says, stepping over the threshold and into the kitchen where Opal whips around to meet his eyes with two mugs of tea in her hands. "And considering that you've been the keeper of my own since we were children-" 

Opal nearly bursts into tears again at the vulnerability that shines so clearly through his gaze. 

" _Obi-Wan-"_

Obi-Wan takes the mugs from her hands and waves a hand towards the transparisteel controls that are on either side of their balcony, bathing the room and _her_ in an aura of gold that makes her look like the angel that Anakin claimed Padmé to be. He now understood why the boy had said it. 

"This is my heart," He says so _confidently_ as he takes her hand, curls her fingers around the braid, and lifts it to his lips to kiss her knuckles. 

" _And you are its keeper."_

*** 

_"Guard your heart. It's a precious thing that not everyone deserves."_

***


	13. Nightmares (Opal)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where she struggles with night terrors.

One of the many things that the Jedi Order tries to cleanse its initiates of upon arrival to the créche is the human condition in forming attachments. _Attachment is forbidden._ Blah blah blah, the usual Code shtick that she's heard from every single Master who has been a significant part of her life albeit Qui-Gon Jinn. 

None of them tried to break her and Obi-Wan Kenobi apart. None of them told her about the crippling loneliness that would often accompany the days that followed his departure from the Temple, the suffocation in realizing he'd never come home.. and then that _one_ emotion she never quite mastered in the way most of the other Jedi around her had. 

Fear. 

It wasn't the stereotypical fear of minuscule things: Deep water or heights or spiders... death? No. Opal Stone has one very, very real fear.. and it's the fear of being left alone in the world with no one to guide her on the straight and narrow. The righteous path. The _steady_ path. 

When Opal dreams, they all revolve around the same thing. There is an arc of doors that spread out before her, twenty some of them, each one leading to different parts of her life. When she does muster the courage to approach one is when she sees that haunted pair of familiar blue eyes that have followed her from the créche all the way to her Knight ranking that she didn't even _earn._ They just.. thrust it upon her and Obi-Wan both. 

When she opens another door, Cerasi and Siri are there to jeer at her. 

" _Obi-Wan will never stay for you.. just like your parents didn't stay for you, just like Anakin won't stay for you... They're going to find bigger and better people - people who are better Jedi then you, a better woman then you - and then you'll just be here..."_

_"All alone." Cerasi pouted mockingly. "Poor little Opaline Stone. No mother to guide her, no daddy to save her," She bent down and gripped her chin through rough fingers, forcing her gaze to follow the auburn haired figure on Siri's arm. Head bent back in laughter, blue eyes gleaming through the blindingly white light that seemed to envelop her in the midst of the fury bubbling low in her belly. The warmth of the Light enveloped her, comforted her, nurtured her.. whispering ''peace'' as it sank into her bones and remained there. "And no Obi-Wan to love. Not when he already belongs to someone else."_

Cerasi throws her back through the door before she can cry out Obi-Wan's name, and Opal remains there on the floor feeling more helpless then she has since Theed when she watched the Zabrak gut her uncle mere feet in front of her. Despite the Light that courses through her veins and embraces her like a welcomed friend, there is something inside of her that is begging to be let out, to _scream-_

And it's not until she catches glimpses of a future she does not know yet that she realizes what it is. 

It's grief. 

Red sands, gold eyes, a crimson saber and Obi-Wan's _screams..._ The fury of the Dark, the cold of a broken Force Bond, the _anguish_ of a love lost and a life never to be seen again. The Force is absent in her future. Absent and _writhing_ as a million lives are snuffed out at once, like the torrent of wind that absorbs the flames of candles and is suddenly enveloped in a total darkness. 

That's what her future is. Darkness, Fear, _Suffering,_ Death. 

She doesn't dare think about the fact that her future is absent of a key figure in her life. It's absent of Anakin. Of Padmé. Her worst fear of being alone seems to play a large part of the future she has yet to see. 

And if she looks just close enough.. _right there..._ a little hut on Tatooine with a _pair_ of Padawan braids and the gurgling of a baby. The auburn hair, the broad shoulders, the way he _smiles_ when she says his name.. At the end of all things, she is not alone - for she has always had Obi-Wan Kenobi - and that thought alone is enough to make her weep. The home of Obi-Wan's arms, the worship of his mouth, her head thrown back in ecstasy as they remain together in the frigid cold of Tatooine's evenings and blistering heat of its twin suns. 

Despite the fear of their future, there's something there that she's not quite acquainted with. An emotion that she has not often allowed herself to feel. 

Hope.

***

After snapping awake within the darkness of her bed, Opal quietly leaves the solace of her quarters and sneaks across the hall to where Obi-Wan resides. Her fingers hover the knob as she uses the Force to navigate the mechanics of the lock before the durasteel slides open and reveals he who lays within. 

It's not often she finds him asleep with how carelessly he has thrown himself into the training of The Chosen One. If she had the opportunity to go back and do it again, Opal would demand Qui-Gon's final words to her best friend were '' _take care of yourself as WELL as anakin, obi-wan._ '' because if she is able to haunt other beings within the Cosmic Force, she's coming for him first because of his utter neglect of his former padawan's wellbeing. 

Moonlight bathes the peaceful features of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He's laying loosely tucked into pale blue sheets, bangs hanging low against his brow and hands tucked together underneath his cheek. He looks the perfect mirror of a child. Peaceful, sweet, _innocent._ It doesn't help that something inside her mind is urging her forward to just graze his cheek with the tips of her fingers to remind herself that he's there. That he's not going to leave her as her dreams so often suggested he would. 

Trembling fingers outstretch to touch his cheek. She gasps softly at how _warm_ he is. Even as a child, Obi-Wan had always been a bright beacon of The Light within The Force, and his physical form is no exception. There is just something so _alluring_ about how he reminds her of what life really is. 

"Opal?" His voice is thick with sleep, his eyes moreso, as electric blue flutter open to meet wide onyx through the dark. Opal had forgotten in the midst of her contemplation about all she'd seen that he was a notoriously light sleeper. She had Anakin to blame for that. "Sweetling, what's-" 

"Had a nightmare. About you." The words are out before she can refrain from saying them. "Wanted to make sure you were alright." His brow furrows in confusion as he gazes at her -Obi has _always_ seen her for what she is, he has never seen the mask and he has _never_ been unable to read her- and slowly moves his hand out from underneath to skim the thin fabric at her hip. Heat radiates through his touch and that alone makes her _gasp_. Opal wants _more_ of him. As much of him as he's willing to give her. HIs heart, his mind, his being. Him. She wants him, and it's never been as obvious to her as it is right now. "Obi-"

"C'mere." His arms open, and Opal falls right into them. "I can sense a great deal of fear in you. You should be better at shielding with who our apprentice is, sweetling." Opal doesn't know if it has to do with how tired he is or how this conversation shouldn't be happening at all, but there's something oddly domestic about the way he nuzzles her hair and she hums in contentment before the gentle hum of his heartbeat lulls her to sleep. 

When she dreams, there is no fear. 

There is only peace. 

<><><><><><><>

_for the fear of loneliness is so often dwelt upon_

_that one forgets_

_at the end of all things_

_you still have home._

<><><><><><>


	14. Nightmares: Obi-Wan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where he deals with nightmares of the future.

They’ve been telling him for years that he sees premonitions. That The Force calls to him, ever so sweet, within the throes of sleep to tell him of his future. Of the happiness and the love, the suffering and the heartache, and how his pride and joy - his padawan who he would risk everything for - is right at the center of all the chaos that will be his future.

“ _Kenobi has always been the soft hearted one.”_

_“I dread what that Apprentice will do to his future, and to him.”_

The people who whisper of this never mention Opal. He wonders why. Was she not meant to be a part of his future? Was she not meant to be with _him?_

When Obi-Wan allows himself those rare opportunities to rest, he sees the same thing nearly every single time: Himself, but far older, bathed in an auburn glow on a planet he doesn’t recognize, the cries of the woman he refuses to admit he loves echoing in the cavern as sapphire collides with its counterpart and The Force _writhes_ in agony around them.

His dreams are plagued with a sinister snarl and once blue eyes that are rimmed in gold.

He often spends less time sleeping after that.

Obi-Wan Kenobi has known nothing but suffering for the greater majority of his life. He has known betrayal, and heartbreak, and an anguish that laces itself so deep within your bones that it’s nearly impossible to purge from your very existence. He often wonders if this plague will ever leave him alone. If he’ll ever be allowed to feel this _peace_ he’s been so desperately chasing since he was a child.

“ _Obi-Wan.”_

Her voice often carries in on a whisper. It always has. She is the very embodiment of gentleness in a world that despises it. Opal has always maintained her _soft_ nature even in the face of all she has lost, and Obi-Wan often envies her for it. For keeping herself so… _whole._

 _"Come back to me. Aren’t you tired?”_ Her fingers trace his own, eyes gentle and arms open as she beckons him forward. _“Aren’t you tired of hurting?”_ She reads him like the open pages of a book, caressing his skin as if they are the words and assuring him as if his suffering is just another chapter of a story that is far from over.

“ _Yes.”_

_“I can bring you peace.”_

When Obi-Wan shoots upward in the midst of a fitful sleep, she’s already sitting at the foot of the bed with her arms loosely crossed over her chest. Guilt floods his features at the darker circles that are beginning to form under her eyes. He imagines his probably look something similar. If this is how it is for him nearly every night, he can’t fathom or imagine what it’s like for her.

“This is night three.” She murmurs. “Quite frankly, I’m surprised Anakin hasn’t woken up with how you _pulse_ in The Force. Your shields are down in a way I’ve never seen them before.” Opal stands to her feet and comes to approach the side of the bed that remains unoccupied, hesitant to crawl in for fear he may shy away from any attempt at comfort. “You’ve never hidden anything from me before, Obi-Wan. What’s going on?”

There it is again, that picturesque version of peace.

Unwilling to hide from her for any longer, Obi-Wan lets down his shields and cradles her hands within his own. She knows how difficult it has always been to allow himself to _feel_ things - _Opal often wonders when life will finally drag him down, break his will, and force him to abandon the Code -_ and so she makes no move to interrupt him as he slowly eases himself into his confession.

“When we were in the créche, the Master used to talk to the Masters about how I had _premonitions._ It was well before I met you.” He turns on his side to meet her gaze through the dark. “They’ve gotten worse the older I come, but they’re _clearer_ since we took Anakin on as a Padawan. I-“ Opal tilts her head at the apprehension he displays in continuing, like he’s trying to keep a dangerous secret from her. “Opal, Anakin is at the center of these premonitions. He’s much older. Sharper, more confident, _bold -_ He singlehandedly wins battles in a war we haven’t even begun to see yet.”

The soft laughter that breaks past her lips makes him uneasy.

“Part of me always wondered if he’d be the end of us.” She whispered.

“I don’t-“ He runs trembling hands up his face and tangles them in his hair, _pulls pulls pulls_ until she eases them from his hair and settles against his side, curling her legs against his chest and cupping his hands in her own so she can kiss his knuckles. “Opal, _how_ do we go on knowing what we know?”

“The future is not certain, dear one. You know that. I know that. That’s what we’ve been _taught._ Just because you have foreseen these premonitions of a devastating end for our Padawan doesn’t mean they will come to be. We can prevent that.” _I can prevent that._ “Tonight, for once, allow yourself to feel.” Obi-Wan trembled violently against the fingers that ghost backward and forwards across his collarbone as he curls in tighter on himself, rests his head against hers, and exhales on a slow breath.

Something warm brushes against his weary shields. He’s far too exhausted to try to hide from her.

HIs whole body sags when he feels it.

_Relief._

"Sleep, Obi-Wan.” Gentle fingers ascend upward to card through his hair much like Qui-Gon did for him as a child, much like he does for Anakin now. It’s warm and familiar and _safe_ and nothing from his dreams can haunt him here. Nothing can hurt him as he’s so often been hurt. Not his dreams, not reality. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

True to her word, when Obi-Wan awakes nearly eight hours later - it’s the most restful sleep he’s had since before the war - Opal is curled in on his side with her head on his chest and fingers pressed loosely over his heart.

His eyes flicker to the dawn peering over the horizon. Coruscant is awakening, as is he, but he can take one moment today before tending to Anakin.

Her arms tighten around his form in her sleep.

Yeah. Just one moment.

_This one._


	15. I'm Dedicating Every Day To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they train their Padawan.

“Oh, can you _stop_ looking at me like that? It’s annoying.” 

“What’s annoying? The fact that he favors your least favorite form? Or the fact that _I_ am the one who taught it to him?” 

Anakin grimaces as he continues moving through the individual steps of his Katas. Today was practice of Form III - otherwise known as Soresu - and it’s a constant battle between both his Masters when one of them absolutely _cannot_ use this form and the other is the Order’s Master of it. 

“At least I can use Jar’Kai.” Opal retorts, to which Obi-Wan snorts indignantly and tosses her one of the _real_ blades from the wall behind him. Anakin exhales through his nose. He has ten minutes left of Katas before they hand him the training saber. HIs muscles hurts and his eyes burn and he’s _hungry_ but he still continues without so much as a complaint. “Only civilized practitioners of the Force and saber combat can use two sabers at once.”

“Have you even _tried_ to use Jar’Kai against me, you insufferable woman?” He snaps. “Who says I can’t do it?” 

“Oh, okay then.” She moves to the opposite wall and tosses him a blade. The room ignites in a flurry of blue and gold. “Try me, Obi-Wan.” 

Kenobi and Stone though? They’re constantly complaining. About _each other._ Aren’t they supposed to be training _him_ and listening to _his_ complaints? He’s a child! A good child! 

Well.. that’s what the créchemaster says, anyway. 

“Master-“ Anakin watches in awe - again, he is only a child and everything amazes him - as his Masters engage in a sparring session of Jar’Kai. “ _Masters!_ Are you done?” 

Opal beams as she spins - a ring of gold surrounding a bright smile as she does so - and had Obi-Wan not been totally preoccupied in proving his skill in Jar’Kai, that sight would’ve totally undone him. 

“I don’t know, Ani-“ She muses. “Ask your _Master._ Is he done?” 

“Master!” Anakin whines. “I want to learn _Soresu_ now! Can you please be done!?” 

Opal uses the advantage of Obi-Wan’s distraction to toss both her sabers behind her and _lunge_ at him, knocking the older Jedi Knight off of his feet as she pins him beneath her knee. Anakin's ten minutes are up. He wants _food._

“Yield, Kenobi.” 

Anakin has always wondered _why_ his Masters look at each other that way and _why_ they never talk about it. Maybe when he’s older he can just get them to do _something_ about it. 

Because Anakin is _actually_ being patient enough to learn today, Obi-Wan relents. “I yield, Stone.” He replies, allowing her to lift him back onto his feet. “But I promise you, someday I _am_ going to show you I’m the better swordsman.” 

“I’d sooner you kiss me on the mouth.” 

Anakin doesn’t hear his reply as Obi-Wan retrieves his blade and crosses the salle to meet him. He imagines it was something snarky like “ _I’d like to see you try.”_

***


End file.
